Vindictive

A guy borrowed 1000 bucks from me a couple of months ago. He promised to return it within a week. I remembered about the money a couple of weeks later. I called up a couple of times and he kept on telling me he would return the money in a couple of days. Around a month back, he started to not pick up my calls.

I then started to dial from different phones when he didnt pick up calls from my phone. I started abusing him verbally whenever he picked up . This became a normal occurence. He would keep promising to return the money in a couple of days and i would on each call describe his mother and sister doing various activites for money. He called up today morning and told me he would return the money in the evening. He just did so a couple of hours back.

Funny thing is, I was never bothered that much about the money. The first time, I called him because I felt he was not responsible and didnt bother to inform me that he didnt have the money with him. The more he tried to avoid my calls, the more irritated I became. I would randomly call from any phone nearby and use the worst language possible. When he called up today and told me that he would return the money, it was a strange moment in that, i was not happy or relieved. I just realised that i would miss the experience of calling up someone and abuse them to my heart's content.

Till a couple of years ago, I never knew this facet of my personality. I always knew that I was not the most sensitive of human beings, but never could imagine myself as as someone who would one day become partially dependent on having the power to insult or degrade someone. It did scare me.

P.S. Would appreciate free therapy